With technologies like Skype keeping couples that met in far flung places together even when they’re back in their respective homes and online dating resulting in love matches between people who have never met IRL, the next step in virtual dating was obvious:
But before I keep going, we need to talk about the name. Fundawear? It sounds like something nasty you might find in your shorts after a brief bout of food poisoning. Sorry guys, but I’m just. Not. Digging it.
I am, however, digging the idea, brought to you by the world famous condom company Durex. They took normal men’s and women’s underwear (ones that are surprisingly attractive, I’d like to add) and sewed little motors into them. Those motors are connected to a smartphone app, allowing your lover to “touch” you from anywhere in the world.
What does all this tech in my pants mean?
While my friend Pranay’s reaction to Fundawear was “It’s a sad day for humanity,” I’m going to have to disagree. We’ve had vibrators that respond to remote controls for a while now and recently we’ve been introduced to vibrators that can be activated from afar; Fundawear is just the next logical step.
Do I think that smartphone-controlled underwear could ever replace the real human touch of your lover? No, of course not. Do I think that this alone will keep long-distance couples together? That’s an obvious no.
To be honest, I kind of doubt anyone could even get off with these things. So take a deep breath, Pranay. This is one more tool to add to the fun arsenal of sex toys that we already have access to. Why not embrace it?
Or, more accurately, let it embrace you…
Get up on it.
While you can’t buy Fundawear yet, the company is currently running a campaign on Facebook looking for couples that want to try it out. They’re saying it’s “the future of foreplay,” but I’m going to call bullshit on that one. Why touch each other with smartphones and motors if you’re face to face? This is totally a videochat-sex enhancer, nothing more.
So, adventurous startup founder with a boyfriend or girlfriend who’s always complaining about your long periods away from home, why not head over to Durex now and sign up for their trial? If you do, make sure to write in and tell us about it. I may even feature you on a future column (anonymously, of course).
Photos and videos by… Fundawear