You’ll Be Spreading ‘Em Better With Spreadsheets App

If you’re an entrepreneur, chances are you’ve heard of the Quantified Self Movement (QSM) and chances are even greater that you’re participating in some way or another. As a group, entrepreneurs tend to be a tad more obsessive than the average Joe which means that tracking sleep patterns and exercise habits and time travelled are just that much more appealing.

If you’ve just finished that paragraph and are thinking, “Huh? WTF is this chick talking about?” then let me take a quick minute to explain. The Quantified Self Movement is all about measuring different aspects of your life (using various tech) in order to improve them. That can take the form of wearing an UP wristband monitor to figure out your sleeping habits, tracking your workouts with apps like Endomondo, or, now, tracking your sexual habits with the Spreadsheets app.

Quantifying sex just sounds… Really unsexy.

That was my first reaction to the idea too, so I totally feel you if that’s what you’re thinking. Spreadsheets does track sex based on things like thrusts per minute (if that’s applicable), noise made, and time, among others.

However, unlike apps such as Passion (which use similar sex quantifying methods and which I completely hate), Spreadsheets isn’t out to tell you that you’re doing it wrong.

They’re simply telling you how you’re doing it.

Okay, I get it. But why?

CalendariPhone-editBecause there’s always room for improvement, right? That’s really the philosophy behind QSM and, honestly, it’s kinda hard to argue with. While I’m not a proponent of full-on OCD monitoring of everything you do, I’ve been known to enjoy a good organizational chart now and then. Those of us with what I like to call Type-A Personality Disorder (you know who you are) just kind of like that stuff.

Spreadsheets argues that their app “completes the feedback loop” when it comes to sexual satisfaction. By taking the potentially fraught question “Was it good?” and turning in into non-judgmental data points, Spreadsheets opens up a space for you and your partner to talk about what you’re doing and, more importantly, what you’d like to be doing.

And here’s the crux of why I think Spreadsheets is a step above the other apps that wanna get in your bed.

It’s can be really hard to talk to our partners about sex, especially if it’s not going the way we’d like it to. Sex is an extremely charged and vulnerable part of our lives, which is why it’s so important (and so hard) to make sure everyone involved is having a good time.

Because Spreadsheets presents just the facts, the emotionally scary part of the convo is largely taken out of the equation, freeing up couples to talk about steps toward improvement and track in whether or not they’re meeting their goals.

While applying numbers and quantified goals to fucking is definitely not for everyone, Spreadsheets is definitely an app I’d recommend to any friend who was having trouble in the bedroom with their partner or even just one of my many slightly OCD friends who already track everything else in spreadsheets (with a lowercase “s”).

Photos and videos by… Spreadsheets

3 Comments

Leave a Reply